Posted by: AGIM JONES | October 15, 2009

Halloween . . . not so scary any more


It’s that time of the year, the leaves are turning orange, temperatures are dropping and people are putting “scary” decorations up.  Halloween is just weeks away but yet, it just doesn’t feel right.  Is it just me or is Halloween not as scary as it used to be?  It is like we seen it all.  Jack O lanterns, zombies, ghosts, it’s all so routine.  What an irony.  The day is to celebrate the souls of the dead but yet, it seems like creativity died off with them.


You want scary?  Place some manicans around the house with over sized Northface bubble jackets, full face ski masks, gloves and holding black toy guns.  Now that is scary.   Have them appear to be “creepin” around the house, behind trees and one sitting in the driver’s seat of a near by hooptie.  Tie bandana’s on their heads in gang colors for bonus points.  Your neighbors will shit their pants.   Little kids will be crying while their parents are running for their lives.  Live in the hood?  No problem, place a  manican wearing a FBI jacket in front of your property.  Rent a black crown vic as well for bonus points.  No matter where you live or which method you choose, you’re guaranteed to make people go into hiding until Thanksgiving.



Posted by: AGIM JONES | July 25, 2009

Message forums and Guys

Women can make friends anywhere and everywhere.  You girls could be in Vicky Secrets looking at bra’s and see another girl looking at the same bra and within a matter of minutes, your exchanging numbers and going out together with your matching bra’s.  Just cause you like the same bra that means your qualified to be friends?

Guy’s don’t have it that easy.  If your out and about and you notice another guy staring at you, he is either gay or a fight is about to go down.  That is just how we are trained by society.  After we leave high school and/or college, we don’t make friends with random people.  If someone is too friendly to you, he is either setting you up to get robbed or he is gay.  There is no middle ground.  This is where message forums come to play.  Guys are allowed to make friends with other random guys on message forums on the basis that they have common interests, without being considered “gay.”  Girls just don’t understand why we spend countless hours on these forums.  The truth is that we don’t have it as easy as women do when it comes to making same-sex friends.  We don’t give each other a chance to find out our hobbies and views on things.  Instead, we are working on putting on our “mean mugs” and walking with our muscles tense, ready for war as we pass another potential “enemy.”

Ladies, please don’t get mad at your guy’s for spending time on those forums.  Would you rather have them in the strip clubs watching titties or behind a computer talking about cars?


Posted by: AGIM JONES | July 15, 2009

Ugly son



No matter who you are or pretend to be, you will have people who will love you and people who will hate you.  I’ll say that it is usually 50/50.  The most you can ever have it in one way is 75/25. 


25% of people will ride with you forever once you earn their love.  If you were to mess up somehow, they would always forgive you.  Once you recognize who these people are, try to keep them in your circle forever.    

“A man’s worst fear is having an ugly son.”  If the guy was to have one and keep it, he would still love his son unconditionally (even if he is ashamed to take him places).


25%  will love you but your actions or outside influences can steer them to hate you.  People forgot that Bush had the highest approval rating for a president at one point.  They even voted him in twice.  That love turned to hate real quick.



25%  will hate you but your actions or outside influences can get them to love you. Growing up, I hated Michael Jordan with a passion.  If he would have played on the Knicks, he would have been my favorite player.  See what I mean?


25% will hate you no matter what.  Let’s say you have this ungrateful neighbor that you helped build his bathroom for free.  A few days later, you hear that he is telling everyone what a bad job you did.  There is nothing you could have done differently to have satisfied him.  It’s good to realize who these people are early so you don’t waste time trying to change who you are in order to win their love.


Just be you and treat everyone like you would want to be treated.  Once you realize who is who, avoid those who’s minds you can not change.



Posted by: AGIM JONES | July 2, 2009

Don’t blame me, blame society

Humans are social creatures.  We are very influenced by society.  You may say that you are not influenced by what anyone else does and you do your own thing but that is not true.  You are just not aware of it.  We all are influenced in one way or another.  It is on a subconscious level.  If you go to Brooklyn, people have a different accent then they do in Long Island.  There are no genes in our bodies that determine the type of accent we will have when we learn to speak.  It is based on of how we learned the language from those around us in our everyday lives.  Brooklyn to Long Island is about a 20-30 mile trip but the difference in the way people act, dress, speak, and think is like night and day.

I always hear people speak about what is going on in the VIP scene in Japan like they been there and know what everyone is up to.  This is often not the case.  Just because you see a bunch of cars at a meet with some very loud colors, sunken in rims, excessive vents, etc., that is just what is popular at the time for that region.  It is unfair to put a whole country in the same category.

Even in the US, you can clearly see a difference in style between regions.  From what I see on the message forums, Hawaii is into an older style Junction Produce/Fabulous type of body kits, dark-colored cars with traditional full face rims.  SoCal is more into the modern Euro style body kits, sportier rims and lighter colored cars.  This is not to say either SoCal or Hawaii is doing it wrong, they are just doing what is cool for their area.  Both regions seen the same Japanese vip magazines and the same pictures online but the end result in their car styling is very different based off of how society geared their thinking.

Because of this, I never get offended when people gives their opinions.  Something sick in one place might not fly in the next region.  Some people I know will not wear the same shoes twice and they have to match from head to toe.  I think that is kind of outrageous but where they are from, it is the thing to do in order to be the man.  If they are wearing red, they are drinking coca cola in order to match.  If they decide to wear green, you better believe they are holding a Mountain Dew can even if they don’t like how it tastes.  Different strokes for different folks.


Posted by: AGIM JONES | June 16, 2009

The early bird doesn’t always get the worm


Rich and John are neighbors and coworkers.  They both start work @ 7a.m.  The bus ride to work takes half an hour and it is usually packed.  Getting a seat means you need to be at the bus stop at 6a.m.  Rich is up early everyday.  He wakes up at 5a.m., eats breakfast and leaves his house before 6a.m. in order to be first at the bus stop.  His reward for his troubles would be a seat on the packed bus.  John on the other hand doesn’t like to rush anything.  He leaves his house at 6:21a.m., grabs breakfast on the way out and doesn’t stress how he is going to get on the bus, he just knows that he is.   Instead of going to the bus stop that Rich is at, he walks 3 blocks down to the bus stop before the one he is at.  John is the last on his line and Rich is the first on his line.  John gets the last seat on the bus and Rich has to wait for the next bus because there is no room.


The point of my analogy is that being first can still result in a failure.  Instead of rushing into things, step back and view the situation at hand from a different perspective.  If you can’t live your life with a smile on your face then you’re trying to hard.  Life shouldn’t be stressful.  Just play your cards right


Posted by: AGIM JONES | February 26, 2009

“Number chasing”

Lots of women will tell you they hate math.  Most LOVE using numbers though.  They won’t waste any time telling each other how much their bags and shoes cost them.  I think half the time, they don’t even like what they are buying.  The high cost is what gets them to want it.  “Let me get this Louie bag to make this b*tch jealous.”

In the car game, lots of guys have this common feminine trait in their systems.  It is driven by hate.  That is why I don’t feed into it.  People don’t chase a look that they want, they chase numbers.  They want to have something “better than the next person because they some how, “out did” them.    The focus should be on the execution of the final product rather than a number. If you don’t put out any of that extra info to make your E-Penis larger, people can only hate on what they see.  Once you start stating how much you paid for things, that’s when you open up a can of worms.  If you paid “too much” you may come off as a cocky liar.  “There is no way you could have paid that much.”  Or perhaps, an idiot.  “I can’t believe he got jerked into paying that much.”  You might also hear that “You could have used to money to buy so and so.”  On the flip side, if you paid “too little”, they will think you got an inferior product or they cut corners in the body work and the paint.  “He got a Macco paint job.”   They will now look down upon your car because you didn’t spend “more.”

This goes for just about everything and isn’t limited to money spent.  People like to randomly throw out:

  • How long their car been in the shop
  • How many inches off the ground they are
  • How long it took for their parts to come in
  • How much horsepower they have
  • How much camber they are running
  • How many sponsors they have
  • How many magazines they been in
  • How many awards they won
  • How big their wheels are
  • How big their lip is
  • How small or big their tires are
  • How many pistons their calipers have, etc.

If you are putting your numbers out there to “out do” others, you are just asking to get outdone.  No matter who you are, there will always be someone better at what you do, have more money then you and have a nicer ride then you.  Don’t get depressed now, that is just life.  Do the best that you can do and have a goal as far as to a look that you are trying to achieve rather than a “record” you are trying to break.  Now stop acting like you need custom-made pants to fit your massive E-Penis and be a little more humble.


Although the blog and all the content in it was created by myself, I can’t take credit for the title.  The term “Number chasing” was a term made up by friend Mike in Houston.

Posted by: AGIM JONES | February 20, 2009

Let me buy you a drink! -SIKE

Women are used to having everything handed to them.  As men, we hold doors for them, let them leave the elevator first, give up seats on the bus, don’t use curse words in front of them, etc.  This is just how we were trained as a society.  Not that I see anything wrong with showing respect to women because I love women, I just don’t like the idea of “buying drinks.”

Women have more game than most guys.  I don’t doubt that.  They can walk up in the club with spider webs in their wallets with the intention of getting drunk.  Sounds impossible to do right?  Wrong!  All they have to do is look for a sucker by the bar.  They say to themselves, “He looks like the drink buying type.”  Then they attack.  Accidental bump then turns to a sexual touch of the hand followed by a smile. The guy gets all gassed and offers her a drink.  She gets her drink and leaves to shake her ass on the dance floor.  The guy doesn’t know what happened and thinks its something he did wrong.  I feel bad for these rookies.

Now I have no problem buying drinks for beautiful girls that I invited out with me.  I’m referring to those girls that just met at the club.  I known you for 3 minutes, you’re not getting a drink from me.  Why bother playing a game on someone who plays it better?  If you feel that you deserve a drink based off of your looks, go to the next sucker.  Matter of fact, go get me a drink from the same sucker.  Show me that you’re a “go getter.”

We recently had a woman run for President.  That shows us how far you ladies have come.  I applaud you for that.  You all want to act like “independent women” but yet you can’t afford a drink?  If you’re so independent, go get me a drink.  That would really show me that you’re not like the rest of them.

I speak for all the men on this one.  If you think I’m just being cheap, I spend more money on tires every year then you do on rent.  A few drinks won’t hurt me.  Then again, I bet you have no clue what your rent even costs because you got a sucker to pay it for you 😉


Posted by: AGIM JONES | February 13, 2009

Getting money???

This is actually a blog I wrote about a year ago.  It is not directed towards anyone in mind.  Yes I know I am being a hater but you can’t deny that I am speaking the truth on this one.  Enjoy.

If you think about it, the Internet is a real entertaining place.  It’s like you’re in another world.  Most of the people behind the screen don’t know you in real life and chances are, you will never meet them.  The only thing they have to go by is the online image you created of yourself.

I have no problem with anyone that slightly tries to make themselves look like they are better off then they really are . . . most of us are guilty of that.  It’s those that really fake the funk that keep me entertained.  I find it funny when these little kids write about how they are “gettin money”, “makin dat paper”, etc.(if you’re in your 20’s or 30’s doing this then that’s just sad)  Sorry to break the news but you’re not making shit.  Making $60-$80 a day selling dime bags isn’t making money. You could make that much at McDonald’s.  Lets say you updated to coke, your still making like $100-$200 a day (yes I know what some of you make but on average) which still isn’t real money. You get knocked once and catch a felony, you just f*cked up your whole life.  Now you can never get a real job which will pay you more than what your used to.

What cracks me up every single time is when people take pictures of money on their pissy mattress’.  Is that what your about to pay a hooker?  Why don’t you buy some new sheets with that money, you baller!  The next time you see someone with pictures of cash in their profile, say to your self   “Thats his rent money, s/he aint ballin!”

Another thing I noticed what all the “ballers” like to do is take pictures in the club with Grey Goose bottles? Thanks, we didn’t know what Grey Goose looked like until you and your homies showed us.  That shit aint ballin when you need 12 of your close friends to chip in to get a bottle.  I have nothing against Grey Goose, I drink it all the time.  It just isn’t worth taking pictures of.  Who are you impressing?  I never seen a rich person drinking that stuff. That is one of the cheapest bottles you can buy to get in the VIP area.

Faking the funk will only impress people like yourself.


Posted by: AGIM JONES | February 11, 2009


When in life do you decide to become a hater?  Sure we are all human and have hated on someone in the past but not everyone puts the effort to talk about it to other people on a daily basis.  That is a female trait that you should work towards removing from your character.  After all, you wouldn’t want to be thought of as a b*tch.  Another question I ask myself is why do you hate?    An easy answer would be because you are just jealous but it’s much deeper then that.  It’s for the attention!    Going against the majority usually leads to conflict.  During your moment of hate, you take the attention off of the subject and put it upon yourself.  Hate is sometimes done in a form of a joke. An example would be someone congratulating another person upon the purchase of their car and you the hater, saying “I didn’t think anyone could put that many miles on a 96 let alone an 06.”

Do you guys/girls realize that you are hating while you hate?    I would have to say no you don’t.  I never heard a hater admit to hating while in the act.    Before you make your next negative comment, I want you to ask yourself “why?”  “Why do you hate that person???”      If you can’t think of a legit reason then chances are, you’re hating!  “I just don’t like it/him”  would also be  a clear indication of hate.  Now that you know your being a hater, what is it that you prefer or would do differently in regards to the thing you are hating on?    If you can’t think of a legit reason,  you actually like what you are hating on but your too jealous to accept the fact that it’s not your’s.

Cock blocking is a form of hate that I don’t understand.  The only time it is allowed is to prevent a hommie from getting with a fat b*tch when he is drunk.  What I can’t stand is when a man cock blocks another man that he doesn’t even know.  That is against all the sacred unspoken “man rules.”  Whats the point of it?  Usually you have no chance with the girl to begin with so why ruin it for someone else?  I guess it is just apart of your game.    Get a quick laugh out of the girl by taking shots at the next man.   If that’s the case, consider stepping your game up.  The girl will eventually realize how low your self-esteem is and what a jealous person you are.  She will leave you for some dude she met off of myspace or adult friend finder.

I often get asked on how I deal with “haters” and what I have to say about them.  Honestly, I usually don’t even notice them most of the time because I am so in my zone that another man’s words can not take me out of it.  What I do makes me happy.  I could care less what a hater has to say.  The Ying-Yang basically states that energy has to be transferred.  If someone is happy, another person will be pissed off as a result.  Hate is apart of life that we have to deal with.  If you start defending your self  by taking jabs back at the person, you are just feeding into the cycle.  Just smile back at them.  That is the worst thing you can possibly do. “I see you but I really don’t because your opinion holds as much weight as a feather” is what you are basically saying with your grin.

Hate just keeps you behind in life.  Instead of using that negative energy on another person, convert it to positive energy by asking yourself “how can I get like him?”  From there, set goals and do what it takes to achieve them.  You may not have it as easy as the person whose footsteps you choose to follow but that just means the end result will be so much more rewarding.  Keep your head up.


Posted by: AGIM JONES | February 5, 2009

Don’t Eat the Peanutbutter!!!!

Temptation often gets the best of us.  We always want what we can’t have. 

The other day, I was watching the news and they were talking about how peanut butter is now off of the shelves because lots of people were dying from salmonella poisioning .  I didn’t think much of it since I don’t even eat peanut butter.  Later on, I go food shopping and see peanut butter on the shelves for half price.  My first thought was “what scum bags.”  As I leave the isle, I’m thinking of how good that crunchy peanut butter tastes.  Now I find my self turning around and stocking up on peanut butter.  I felt like Adam when he was reaching for the apple.  Now I don’t know if it was the thought that the peanut butter has Salmonilla, was in the back of my mind but I got a really bad stomach ache right after eating some.  “F*ck I’m going to die!” was my initial thought.  Luckily, it wasn’t as serious as I had thought and I got better after I vomited. 

It then accured to me how stupid I was in risking my life by getting the peanut butter in the first place.  After long hard thought, I realized that I was just being human.  We always fall for temptation.  You can date a supermodel and you will still find yourself having thoughts of doing some dirty things to that average looking waitress who is serving you while on a date with your girl.  Its hard to satisfy the mind.


Take a minute out of your time to be thankful of what you have.  You can’t be happy until you accept what you are stuck with.  From there, better things will come your way.



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